I am scared. Very, very scared. So scared that instead of writing terrified I’m repeating the word ‘scared’ even though I know that’s bad writing. Thing is, for so long I’d thought that this queasy feeling pressing on to my stomach and ribs was just a temporary phase like mild acidity. In fact, I even blamed it on my laziness. But now I know the reason why I kept procrastinating with starting another blog and then after writing a post, not sharing it with anyone is because of my loyal friend, Fear. This 3 minute video acted as an eye-opener.
Why am I so scared?
Because, starting from scratch is not the most buoyant feeling on Earth, you see. After losing my previous blog due to some technical glitch, I am now cautious about stepping forward. I had planned on writing about my travel experience in Rome and Venice after I returned. The old blog’s demise discouraged me to step forward and I obediently listened.
It is not like I am not writing. But it seems safer these days to write on other websites than on something of my own. And hence, I kept procrastinating.
But I cannot take this queasiness anymore. Either I face it or it squishes my confidence off like an insect between its thumb and forefinger and make me accept defeat. And that’s something I am not good at accepting. Hence, this post.
I hope to write more. Write frequently. As suggested by a friend, I plan to reread Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic once more. This is one of the best books that encourages and pushes you to live a creative life without giving in to fear and I’d recommend it to everyone who craves for such a life.
I’ll end with a quote from her.
“It seems to me that the less I fight my fear, the less it fights back. If I can relax, fear relaxes, too.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear